Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Army of Two Full Review






Army of Two Review

What It’s About

Army of Two is a third person shooter currently released on the PS3 and Xbox 360. The plot revolves around army buddies turned PMC mercenaries: Rios and Salem. Rios (the big guy) is deep thinking, intuitive, and righteous. Salem (the lil guy) is the smart ass, quick talking, fast living, money driven one. Typical mid-mission tangents started by Salem involve talks about who’s going to win tonight’s football game or who is the best rapper (all while bullets are whizzing past your head). This is one of the many ways that EA conveys the teamwork, bonding, and friendship aspect of Army of Two. By the way, the cut scenes feel like mini movies.

The Agro System

The Agro system involves taking the enemies’ focus off your partner so that he can sneak around and flank them. The guy firing the biggest, loudest, and flashiest gun will take on the most Agro. There is an Agro meter on your HUD that shows you who currently holds the most Agro. If you manage to fill up the meter you will enter Overkill mode. In this mode the man with most Agro will receive a temporary increase in firing rate and bullet damage. The other member will become virtually invisible and will move and double speed. Agro will make the difference between death and a fat pay check.

Guns

The gun variety is sufficient but the best part about it is the customization. Each gun you purchase can be customized in some shape or form. Some customizations are for utility (bigger clip, shield, better scope, etc.) and others are for aesthetics (gold plate your gun Saddam Hussein style).

Coop Work

This game focuses on team play. Some obstacles can not be overcome without your partner. If a wall is too high to climb then you can give your partner a leg up. If a door is too heavy then you can combine your strength with your partner to lift it up. If you’re facing an assload of insurgents then you can rip off a car door and press forward with your partner behind you shooting their faces off. Some missions will require you to parachute into the thick of battle; one of you will control the parachute (via Sixaxis control for PS3) while the other snipes nearby enemies. If you teammate gets gunned down then it is up to you to drag his ass to cover and give him an adrenaline shot to the chest so that he can get up and fight some more. Pissed at your partner’s performance? Stand close to him and press the fire button so you can slap him across the head. Want to celebrate a job well done? Press the action button near your partner and give him dap. This game is about team work and this game does it right.

What You Need to Play

There is one thing that you need to get the full experience out of this game: a friend. This game requires a lot of team work and who better to provide that than somebody you know? This game gives you the option of playing the campaign on coop via split screen or online. If you are playing coop op online you most definitely need a headset. Don’t know anybody else with the game? You can play with random people online. There is no excuse, don’t play alone like a lame would.

How It Is

So how does it play? It plays something like Gears of War (Xbox 360) minus the steroids. The duck-and-cover style gameplay is executed well in this game. Blind-firing is intuitive and effective. Focused aim zooms in over the shoulder and it feels natural. The intelligent A.I. is complimented by the Agro system. As stated before, this gun is the most fun when it is played with friends. Although I had hella fun with this game, I did have a couple gripes. The first would be the melee attacks. Although the variety of melee attacks are awesome (Choke Slam courtesy of the Undertaker), it sucks that there is not a button mapped for it separate from the fire button. Movement sometimes felt awkward and climbing for better sniping position seemed like chore on occasion. Also, why did EA decide to cut the ability to sprint if they were going to bite GoW so hard? The guns are not balanced either (take a lesson from Call of Duty 4). The only thing that matters when it comes to choosing your gun is how big it is. The last issue I have with the game is its length; this game is short as hell. Flea and I beat this game in two days (would have done it in one night but we have lives to attend to). Fortunately the game’s short length is supplemented with online play which has the potential to be very sikk.

Rating:

Presentation: 9
Graphics: 8
Sound: 7
Gameplay: 7
Replay Appeal: 8

Overall: 7.8 out of 10

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Wikipedia Makes Me Laugh, Bitch!

Wikipedia has always been funny to me. Especially when they have a whole archive of information dedicated to common sense knowledge. Check out this excerpt from the article on "dap":

Dap is a form of handshake that originated in the 1960s among African Americans. The term dap may have originated as an acronym for Dignity and Pride, (or may have been backronymed) and was first used by African American soldiers during the Vietnam War. Though it can refer to many kinds of greeting involving hand contact, dap is best known as a complicated routine of shakes, slaps, snaps, and other contact that must be known completely by both parties involved. Some forms or other names for these greetings include "slapping five," "Black Power Handshake," "high five," "Five on the Black Hand Side," and "the pound" (as it is referred to by non African Americans unfamiliar with what Dap means). It is often confused with the word "tap".

Monday, November 12, 2007

A Moment of Silence, Bitch...

Kanye's mom passed Saturday (Nov. 10th, 2007) in a Los Angeles hospital. They say it had something to do with plastic surgery. It's a damn shame. Jigga even paid his respect to Kanye's mom at his concert in New York by calling for a moment of silence for Donda West. Jigga dedicating the whole show to Kanye saying, "We got you, Kanye, stay strong." It goes without saying that this must be a major heartbreak for Kanye. Prayers and thoughts go to the West clan.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Newsflash, Bitch!

I like girls wit nice titties. Areolas can't be all huge and shit. Nipples should be small. No dark nipples either.

-Word

Profanity, Bitch!

These British dudes have been doing a study on profanity in the workplace. They found that cussin' amongst coworkers promotes unity and helps alleviate stress/anger. Go figure. The study continues to report that this only applies to employees on the same level meaning that this whole profanity deal does not work in terms of managers, bosses, and the higher ups. Next time you at work don't be scared to drop that M-Bomb. You know the one I'm talkin about.

-Mutherfukkingangsterparty

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Straight Up Bitch

You're a bitch. Your friends are bitches. Your nigga's friends are bitches. Your mom is a bitch. Your step mom is a bitch. Your roomate is a bitch. If any of thee above got shit to say to me I'll tell em in their face: You a bitch!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Christmas, Bitch

Halloween is done. Thanksgiving is coming up. After that is Christmas. I just want to let all the kiddies know that Santa is not real. That mutherfukker never existed. You know the presents you got under the tree? You parents go to work every fukkin day to earn the money to buy the bullshit toys that you have been crying about since watching a random commercial during the 1,000th episode of pokemon. If Santa is real, he'd be a bitch nigga. Ask Riley.

And Yes, Nigga, I'm sure he is not real.